Sunday, July 10, 2011

Dear Google Adsense:

Dear Google Adsense,

I placed your gizmo on my blog, because I thought it was a cool concept, and who doesn't need a spare ten cents every now and again?  Obviously, this is not going to make anyone loads of money, but I was curious to see what kind of ads you would have for the childfree.  Curiosity satisfied, I must continue into my rant.

Your data-mining programs or whatever they are called have decided that childfree people want pregnancy, babies, ultrasounds, diaper deals, bottles, strollers, etc.  We don't.  We never will.  That's why we are childfree!  Unfortunately, your little program that searches the blogs for relevant words to decide which ads to post - well, it's not as smart as you think it is.

You know what else I dislike about your adsense doohickey?  We can block all sorts of categories of ads, so I was able to block ads for baby care and hygiene.  Unfortunately, when I tried to block pregnancy ads, I couldn't.  I can block ads about reproductive health, but I am unable to block ads about healthy pregnancy.  I can block a category called "Sexual and Reproductive Health."  This category's description, "Includes sexual function and fertility ads; does not include normal pregnancy resources."

One point in its favor is that it includes fertility ads.  However, it does not include normal pregnancy resources?  I am completely against pregnancy and childbearing.  I am so much against it that I am on the other side of it!  Why can't I block that?

Let me try to tell you how I feel about the pregnancy, baby, and child-related ads you put on my blog.  Would you post ads for free trips to hell to visit Satan and his minions on a Christian blogger's blog?  Well?  Would you post an "Abort your baby now!  Call 1-800-WIRE-HANGER to speak with a representative now" on a blog about pregnancy?  That's exactly what you're doing to us.

I understand that adsense is something my blog can do without.  I'd like to see some ads up there for adults-only resorts and cruises and any other adults-only thing you can find.  I wanted these ads on my blog so we might be able to find some new venue for our dates and vacations.  I wanted these ads on my blog so sterilization, birth control, and yes, even abortion ads would be available to those who don't know all the options that are out there.

Sadly, Google, you seem to be a little TOO family friendly for me.  Unfortunately, I am entangled in your tentacles, and I am too lazy to cut myself out of gmail, googledocs, google reader, blogger, etc.  I can do one thing, however.  I can remove the ads if you do not address my concerns.

I will be copying and pasting this blog post in an e-mail to the google adsense team.

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