Friday, July 1, 2011

A Bit About Me

I am feeling rather self-absorbed today, so I shall let you, dear reader, know a bit about me and why I am writing a blog about being childfree.

My husband and I got married when I was in my late twenties and he was thirty. We wanted some time to ourselves before we even decided to talk about whether or not we wanted to spawn. At this point, I was following the socially normal life path of getting married, then having children.

Fortunately, my baby train derailed when I discovered the term childfree. I've never felt an overwhelming desire to be a mother. I just kind of thought that's what people did once they got married (unless they were unable to breed). After I found out about the planned childfree lifestyle, I felt like I had come home.

For quite some time, I thought I was broken, because I had no desire to have one of my eggs fertilized; carry the parasite for nine months; then, have my vagina and vulva ravaged by expelling the resulting tiny, helpless product of conception. I had no desire to nurture an infant, see it through the toddler years, rear it up through its childhood, teens, and ultimately, be there for it into its adulthood.

I much prefer being an awesome aunt to my awesome nephew (who goes home after our fun days together) to being a parent to an ungrateful brat I can't give back. I've known people who jokingly try to sell their kids, give them away, or offer to pay someone for the removal of their children. With me, it wouldn't be a joke.

For now, my husband and I are living modestly, doing jobs we enjoy, because we don't need to make boatloads of money to support a child and its needs and wants. We don't have to pick up the kids from daycare, fix chicken nuggets for a picky toddler, bathe the sticky brat, and put it to bed only to have it crawling into bed with us at eleven o'clock at night. We work, come home, eat a grown-up dinner, talk to each other, play video games with each other, and go to bed side by side. This is our bliss.

On our days off, we spend time together or apart, confidently. Our relationship is not strained by the presence of children. We don't have to struggle to find work-family balance. It is just there. I can go out of town to visit my friends and family, and I don't have to worry about whether or not my husband is going to get everything right. He only has himself to take care of, and he's a big boy. Likewise, he does not have to feel guilty about leaving me with the kids when he has plans. This is our balance.

Since this post wasn't terribly offensive, I shall have to remedy this at a later date. I'll tell you all about my thoughts on children, breeding, fertility treatments, breeders, wanna-breeders, and all that other stuff that makes me froth at the mouth.

Until next time, farewell.

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